5. The Basics
It’s important to master the basic go-go dance steps. A sound knowledge of simple and classic steps such as The Pony, Jerk, Swim, and Mashed Potato, will guarantee that with a few simple variations, you’ll look like an extra from an Elvis movie in no time! Try impressing your friends by doing the Pony then adding the Swim, brilliant! (PS, the Swim and Pony combo is called the Seahorse).

4. Outfit choice
Whilst outfit choice is not essential to successful go-go dancing, it can really add that extra 10% to your performance!

DO - try wearing something with fringing on it. While you are nonchalantly doing the Hully Gully, the fringing on your outfit will fly in all directions, making it look like you’re working much harder than you really are!

Or, perhaps try something sparkly - Lurex, rhinestones and sequins catch the light, turning you into a human mirror-ball on the dance floor. Ouch my eyes!

DON’T - wear rubber-soled shoes unless you have no choice (i.e. they have been prescribed by a doctor). The rubber is designed to grip the floor (for sports, so you don’t slip over embarrassingly when running), and this gripping nature of sports shoes will create drag when you are twisting or doing the Mashed Potato. Try some pointy-toed shoes for the gents, and perhaps a nice flat or low heel for the ladies.

3. Have a crack!
The most wonderful thing about go-go dancing is that it is a very freeform style of dance, so feel free to express yourself!

Even self-proclaimed uncos can go-go dance with great entertainment value, the secret lies in having a crack! Shake it like a Polaroid Picture and no one will ever suspect that you are currently, or had once been, an unco.

2. Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm is just as important as having a crack. Enthusiasm about the dance you’re doing is essential to your success or failure. To quote from Rufus Thomas, ‘You flap your arms, and your feet start kickin’, then you’ll know, you’re doing the funky chicken!”

A half-arsed attempt at the Funky Chicken will leave you feeling empty and vulnerable, and potentially open to ridicule. An enthusiastic and joyful performance of it, (arms flapping, feet kicking!), will fill you with the satisfaction that can only come from being able to do the Funky Chicken as joyfully as Rufus intended it to be.

1. Big hair

Big hair is good hair! Try your hair in an enormous style and feel the difference.

For the boys - Try a gravity-defying Little Richard inspired quiff, or a fabulous James Brown bouffant, it will look fantastic and the ladies will really dig it.

For the girls - some backcombing and hair lacquer will guarantee you a massive, and impressive, beehive hairdo, (think Amy Winehouse minus the illicit drug use, or try a Diana Ross or Tina Turner style to brilliant effect).

Big hair will not only get you closer to Heaven, it can also provide an excellent diversion if none of the steps (1-4) outlined above have improved your dancing. Position yourself correctly on the dance floor, and your hair could cause an eclipse of the lighting rig, ensuring that your dancing faux pas will go unnoticed in the half-light and intermittent cries of “who turned off the lights?”